Separation Anxiety Tips at Preschool

Dropping off your child at preschool or departing for work is difficult for children and parents alike. Who wouldn’t want to play hookie from work, scoop us your little nugget from school and have a picnic at the park? Your child feels the same way. A parent leaving them at school can feel a bit like abandonment. Why are you leaving me? Are you ever coming back? What could be more important than my comfort? Unfortunately, separation is a fact of life for most children and their families. You’ll be called upon to part from your child time and time again. But it doesn’t  have to be painful. Try out some of these strategies for taking the sting out of leaving your child while you attend to your other responsibilities. 

A few thoughts on separation:

• Mastering separation doesn’t happen overnight. Both children and parents learn how to manage these feelings over the span of their lifetime 
• Separation can make a child feel sad, angry, or fearful. 
• Disruptions in life can lead to feelings of separation. Some examples include welcoming a new baby into the home, moving to a new house, starting preschool, or coping with illness within the family. 
•  Bedtime can feel like a form of separation

What can I do to help my child cope with separation? 

Little people need a helping hand when it comes to managing separation. You are their trusted adult and it’s normal for them to want you around! To help your child cope with separation, you might try:

• Talking about changes as the occur
• Label the feeling they’re experiencing (like anger, sadness, and fear)
• Say comforting things to your child, such as, “I know this is hard. I’m going to miss you, too. I’ll be back before you know it!” 
• Get acquainted with your child’s new setting. If they are starting a new preschool program, make a point to visit the school and get to know their new teacher before their first day 
• Avoid telling your child to stop crying when you depart
• Be confident in your speech. Tell your child, “We’ll feel so much better in a  few minutes. We can do this!” 

Remember, building a loving attachment lays the foundation for growing independence. The more you love on your child, the more secure your child will become! Soon she’ll be waving you goodbye and jetting off to play. But be sure to squeeze in that hug!