4 Basic Manner’s to Teach Your Child

“Mind your manners.” As children, we heard these words on repeat. And if you’re like many parents out there, you use this line with your kids. We want our children to know the basic niceties (please, thank you, excuse me), and we pray that they don’t embarrass us at another child’s birthday party or on a playdate. But how do you teach these basic manners? The folks at parents.com have some excellent tips for us on how to teach table manners and skills like apologizing and sharing. But first let’s talk a bit about why manners count.

Good manners are a good habit

Have you ever found yourself saying “excuse me” after you sneeze, even when no one is around? This is because you’ve made good manners a habit. This is what we aim to do with our children. Teach your child to say things like please, thank you and excuse me at a young age. As they grow, this behavior will become instinctual!

Polite behavior will help your child’s social development

Children and adults like to spend time with people who have good manners. Consider working with someone in your office who didn’t say “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” when they bumped you in the hallway, sending your paperwork flying. Totally rude, right? The same goes for children. Children who don’t share with others are a pain to be around. Their friends don’t want to play with them and, odds are, other parents won’t want to invite them over. We need to arm our children with basic manners so that they can function successfully in the world. 

Learning manners is a lifelong education 

You can’t expect a child to learn all of their manners overnight. In fact, manners come in a developmental order. A 2 year old child is not going to be able to stay seated at the dinner table for long–it’s simply not age appropriate. However you can teach your child to say “hello” to new people and wave “goodbye,” which are great social skills. 

Your behavior counts

Children learn by example. If you forget to say excuse me when you skirt around someone in the frozen food section, your child will never learn what’s appropriate. Likewise, if you yell at the dog for tracking mud onto the carpet, you’ll find your toddler speaking sharply to their baby doll and stuffed bear. Show your child what’s expected by practicing good manners yourself.

Consistency is important 

Make sure that you’re following through when you’re enforcing good manners. You’ll also need to make sure that you and your partner are aligned in your expectations; if one of you allows shouting at the table and the other doesn’t, it will be much harder to make any meaningful progress. 

How to teach….

Basic table manners

• Offer you child food on a small plate
• Discourage him from throwing food on the floor
• Use prompts like, “we don’t throw our food on the ground”
• Encourage the use of utensils

Please and thank you

• Prompt your child by saying, “what do you say when someone shares their toy?”

Sharing

• Offer a child two toys and encourage he hand one to another child
• Use prompts like, “what do we do when a friend asks us if he can play with your race car?” 
• Use playdates as a good opportunity to teach sharing. Talk about sharing before the other child arrives

Apologizing 

• Discourage a child from snatching a toy by encouraging empathy (hitting hurts others)
• Prompt the child by saying, “when we hurt someone’s feelings we say we’re sorry”