Tips for Parenting Your Strong Willed Child

It’s important to remember as a parent that not all children are the same- and that’s one of our favorite parts about being in the early childhood profession- every child is different which is something we completely embrace and encourage at Bright Beginnings Preschool. Some children are very easy going and mild tempered. They do exactly what you tell them, with a smile, and without a question. Others are very strong willed and determined. These kiddos tend to question everything and love a challenge. They are defiant, inquisitive, can be impatient, but are also eager to please-just in their own way. Once you understand that your child is a strong willed, there are ways you can help your child channel this so that he or she can develop these personality traits to become strong and focused leaders. Read on to gain some helpful tips and tricks that will be effective for this little, strong, but brilliant child.

1. Let Them Be Heard Many strong willed children just want to be heard. They love to assert their opinions, views, and comments; so let them; but just don’t jump into an argument with them. Reiterate back what they are saying to you, showing them that you are actively listening and validating their feelings or beliefs.
2. Give Them Some Control Often times, strong willed children act out because they feel out of control and crave independence. Offer them choices. It could be something as little as allowing them to pick out their own pajamas, snack, or deciding which toy they want to bring in the car.
3. Let Them Learn By Doing Strong willed children feel the world is their oyster. That is why they turn out to be some of the greatest leaders in life (or the world!). So, let them learn by doing. Give them plenty of opportunities throughout their day to see how stuff works, prepare their meals, create their own games, and have a lot of conversations with them-they love this!
4. Try Not to Control Them Children who are very strong willed can sometimes get more stubborn when they sense you are trying to control them. But, by no means should you back away from bad behavior. Give them choices, state things once, don’t get into an argument-but if all else fails, give them space. Sometimes you will need to offer them a peace break where they can take the time they need to process and work through what happened at their own pace and space. You generally cannot reason with these children until they are fully calm, so don’t try to take control of the situation at once. Wait for it to diffuse naturally (which can take some time). 
5. Offer Lots of Praise Because strong willed children are eager to please, offer them tons of praise when they do something positive-especially if it’s something they do that’s usually a struggle. When they want to brush their teeth on their own accord, hype it up like it’s the best thing ever. Your child will be surprised at how happy obeying the small stuff is to you and will be more likely to do it.
6. Connect With Them Some strong willed children can lack self-confidence at times. They need to know you hear them, see them, and support them. Don’t be afraid to give them tons of hugs, reassurance, and have lots of check ins with them about how they are feeling, or ask for their view point on a certain topic. Strong willed children are often very intelligent and they love these physical and educational connections.

If you have a strong willed child, it’s important that you embrace their personality not try to change it! These children are typically determined and love to embrace a challenge- these are incredible characteristics of an individual. Try out the tips above to encourage your child to be themselves but also know your boundaries as a parental unit.