The 411 on Preschool Manners

Let’s Talk Table Manners!

We all want well behaved and courteous children but the reality is that it’s rough being little. A pre schoolers world is filled with so much to do and explore and lots of orders and instructions! We wonder how to best raise little ones with age appropriate social skills without squelching their newly developing sense of self and having mini robots underfoot! Even at mealtime, children hear the word ‘No!’ often.

Here’s our advice:

Start slowly.Choose something that your child understands and can practice often. At pre school we practice table manners daily and build upon our children’s successes. For example, ‘Chew with your mouth closed’ can be practiced multiple times a day since children eat at least three meals and three snacks. Younger siblings can watch older ones who have mastered this.

Build on one manner by adding a similar, more advanced one: “Chew with your mouth closed” can become more challenging when we practice “Chew, swallow and then talk.”

Once they are eating properly, build the competencies by layering more skills such as:

• Give and take in conversation
• Using a napkin and placing it on their lap
• Thanking the cook for a delicious meal
• Helping remove plates and cups from table to kitchen counter or sink

A three or four year old should be able to do the following independently:

• Wash hands
• Help set the table
• Sit and converse for at least 15 minutes
• Place his napkin on his lap
• Assist with clean up

Here’s a tip! Using placemats is helpful to keep food and utensils in one area and to have clear table boundaries.

Spills Happen! It’s so embarrassing to spill something, even as a grown up! When a child spills we recommend not making a big deal about it. Simply say, “Spills, happen” and assist the child with cleaning it up. One thing we want is for meals to be positive and relaxing and worrying about spilling is stressful. Be sure children have age appropriate tableware and cups and cutlery. Lids on cups can help build confidence as a pre schooler gains fine motor coordination.

Put yourself in their shoes: As children learn new skills, the neurons in their brain build connections which helps memory. Eventually children become competent and confident. Try this to get an idea how of hard your preschooler works to learn table manners:

• Eat your meal with your non-dominant hand and see how much you drop!
• Use your non-dominant hand to pick up your wine glass- see what we mean? It’s rough!

Remember to model great social skills including kind words and appropriate vocabulary. This is a no-potty mouth zone! Children watch and learn from the 4-5 caregivers that they spend the most time with so keep it rated G!