Introducing Logical and Natural Consequences to Preschoolers

Managing preschoolers and their behavior has to be the $64,000 question parents and early education teachers ask.

“How do I get the children to follow directions?” “Am I asking too much of them?” “Why won’t my child listen?” “ What about temper tantrums?” Or just as stressful, “Is my child being challenged or is he bored?”

As early childhood professionals, we use many methods for managing behavior in the preschool- setting and can share a few behind the scenes tips. Most important to me is that we always first look at ourselves as the adults who are ultimately responsible. It’s our job to do what’s best for each child. We should ensure we have the classroom set up appropriately and our expectations are age and developmentally appropriate.

At home, similarly, our children should have a set routine as much as possible with the day flowing from one activity to another. I think it's best to vary quiet and active play, indoor and outdoor, chunk errands so your child isn’t always in the car and to limit free range parenting the older kiddos.

After that, we move to logical and natural consequences. Setting small children up for success is our main goal, whether it's in making appropriate choices, understanding the adult’s expectations or providing a great classroom physical environment. Our outdoor spaces too (whether at home or school) must combine challenging endeavors with relaxing places to hang out, and encourage appropriate risk taking rather than putting children in harm's way.

Using natural and logical consequences is a super concise and easy way to help children learn to make choices while giving them guidance and support. For instance, let’s say it's raining outside and you are heading to the store. You might first give your child a five minute warning such as “we have to go to the grocery store to get some lettuce and tomatoes for dinner. You have a couple minutes to finish playing with your play dough and then I’ll ask you to pack it away until later.”

It all goes well, (“Yay me”, you think- “I’ve got this mom thing down!”) But then, “It’s raining outside. Let’s get our raincoats on.” Major resistance. Your child pitches a fit, doesn’t like the raincoat, it smells funny, doesn’t like the color, wants to wear a sweater, wants to stay home, etc.

Using a natural and logical consequence for a pre schooler, here are some things you could say: “The rain is coming down pretty hard. I’m worried (I message- see blog post on ‘I MESSAGES’) that you’ll get wet and catch a cold (or be chilly in the grocery store.)” The logical consequence is the child may get ill or be very uncomfortable. You could also say, “If you don’t dress properly, I’m not going to take you to the store because I don’t want you to get sick (or be cold and wet in the store or car.)” You can continue with “So then we won’t have lettuce and tomatoes for our yummy salad tonight.” Again a logical and natural consequence of not going to the store is that we won’t have salad. That’s it. No guilt ridden statements or yelling. Child either complies or doesn’t.

With logical and natural consequences it takes practice especially for the adult. Eventually you’ll use natural and logical consequences all the time and the child will catch on so well that you can ask him: “Hmm, if you don’t do x, what do you suppose will/could happen?” Here we are taking educating the child to the next level and encouraging problem solving.

Here are a few more examples to help you get the hang of it!

• “If you clean up your blocks, your room will look so clean and you’ll be able to find your things.”
• “If you wash your hands before dinner, you’ll scrub off the germs and it will help you stay healthy.”
• “If you share, your friends will share too and I bet you’ll make even more friends.”
• “If you feed the dog, he will be healthy and strong.”
• “When we leave our door wide open, we waste electricity and our bill is high. Then we don’t have extra money for the fun stuff. Or the flies get in! Or the house gets too warm or too cold!”

So the next time the kiddos get under your skin, take a step back and make a plan:

Ask Yourself

• What is the natural and logical outcome for this?
• Is what I’m asking appropriate?
• Can my child actually do what I’m asking? Or perhaps he needs assistance?

Do’s

• State positively
• Encourage your child to predict the logical outcome
• Give enough time for child to complete what is asked

Don't

• Be condescending or sassy
• Play the guilt card (“now no one gets salad tonight and it’s all your fault”)
• Give up, keep trying!