How to Help Your Child Develop Empathy

There’s no doubt about it: toddlers have BIG feelings. And they’ll use any means necessary to express them! We want our children to understand and manage their own emotions. But we also believe that developing  a sense of empathy, or an understanding of the feelings and experiences of others, is critical for their social and emotional development. How do we help our children grow more empathetic? Believe it or not, there are things we can do in our very own homes that help a child to assume the perspective of another, increasing their emotional flexibility and ability to relate with others. 

Empathize with your child

When your child is experiencing a large emotion, try not to jump straight to frustration. Instead, take a second to think about how your child is feeling. Empathize with them. Use validating language like, “I know it’s hard for you to put down your toys when it’s time to come to the dinner table. You look sad and frustrated. I understand.” Set an example for your child about what it sounds like to step into another person’s shoes. 

Talk about others’ feelings 

Make a point to label the feelings you see other grown ups and children experiencing. When their baby sister cries, say something like, “your sister is feeling angry because she’s tired and hungry. She needs a bottle and a nap.” Step in when your child has hurt the feelings of their playmate. This might sound like, “John is crying because you threw his toy car across the room. You need to go and pick it up and bring it back to him. You hurt his feelings.”

Suggest how your child can show empathy

Look for opportunities to show your child ways to comfort and support other people. Teach them that their behavior matters. When a friend falls on the playground and skins their knee, teach them that they can comfort that child by asking if they are OK. They can also fetch a band aid, get an ice pack, offer a hug, or any other comforting behavior. 

Read lots of stories about feelings

Many contemporary children’s books teach about feelings and emotions. Grab a book that focuses on these themes and give it a read together. Stop periodically to discuss how each character is feeling. Ask questions like, “how did it make her feel when her brother popped her balloon?”

Be a role model

We know that our children look up to us. If we have compassionate and loving relationships, our children will grow to emulate them. Talk about your feelings and the feelings of others. Make it clear that you care about the people you interact with. Your child is watching! 

Try to keep these ideas in mind as you navigate the world of feelings and emotions with your toddler. Empathy is something that grows over time. Keep up the great work!